First Crusade - Surprise Success Blockbuster
Imagine the First Crusade as a movie. But not a movie about The Crusades. Instead, make it a goofy teen comedy.
(this is part three of twelve about The Crusades as a movie series)
The First Crusade is the story of mostly younger Norman / French nobles traveling east together to liberate Jerusalem. On the way they’ll have many adventures. So imagine it as a booze-fueled last night-of-school party and/or road trip adventure and/or wild fraternity movie.
During the opening credits, you meet the lads:
Godfrey of Bouillon, Duke of Lower Lorriane (make him the charismatic lead)
Bohemond of Taranto (they’re all jocks, but he’s the super smart aleck jock)
Count Raymond IV of Toulouse (they’re all rich kids, but he’s the richest)
Baldwin of Boulogne (Godfrey’s brother, and the handsome ladies’ man)
And then of course the background mates in the crew:
Robert II, Count of Flanders
Robert II Curthose, Duke of Normandy
Stephen, Count of Blois
Hugh, Count of Vermandois
Two more important characters are:
Bishop Adhemar of Le Puy, papal legate, so the nominal leader (he’s the nerdy tag-along)
Emperor Alexius I Comnenus, ruler of Byzantium (the crusty authority figure who’s out to stop their fun)
The pope called the crusade, but the kings stayed at home, leaving the crusade to these younger-brother princes and other highborn lords. They were competitive with each other, so enthusiastically joined up, always jockeying for command and the prestige it would bring. They hit the road and headed east.
Godfrey followed the path taken by Peter the Hermit across the continent, picking up some Bavarian dunkels and Bohemian pilsners on the way. He caused far less trouble through Hungary, which was probably for the best.
Raymond packed his baggage train full of wine he raided from his parents’ house in the south of France, then cruised along the coast of Croatia.
Stephen, Hugh, and the Roberts bombed down the highway in Italy with the top down, blasting “Thunderstruck” by AC/DC. Some dweeb whined, “Um, that’s an anachronism,” so they swerved the carriage into a puddle, splashed the dork, and slapped high fives all around.
Then the lads scooped up Bohemond in the heel of Italy’s boot, stopping to shoot some limoncellos before they all made the rendezvous in Constantinople in autumn 1096, ready to bro down.
Emperor Alexius was a major buzzkill, making them swear an oath of fealty to him that they would return any former Byzantine lands they captured to him. Not cool, bruh. Alexius did loan his boats to ferry the crusaders across the Bosporus to Asia Minor, which was clutch.
First stop was Nicaea, the capital of the Seljuk Sultanate of Rum. Time for a siege, baby! After a month outside the walls, again Alexius was a major party pooper again, conniving to have the city surrender to him, not the crusaders, in June 1097. What’s that about, bruv?
Bohemond wasn’t about to take the back seat, so he blasted forward with his cavalry and led the forces to a major victory at Dorylaeum in July 1097.
Baldwin had a way with the ladies, or at least a way with the fathers that could betroth ladies, so he slipped away from the main crusade to marry the heir of Edessa, making him the first count of Edessa in 1098.
The rest of the crew headed toward Antioch, an ancient city which had been considered holy since the days when St Peter and St Paul were there 1,000 years earlier. So in October 1097, of course they laid siege to it. The siege took many months, but Bohemond found a man on the inside to betray the city, and they took it in June 1098.
In an epic post-victory rager, he was proclaimed Prince Bohemond of Antioch. Bohemond’s stance was that Alexius had not helped them in the siege, so he could break his oath and keep the city for himself.
The Siege of Antioch
They rested, goofed around, and played bocce and cornhole for a few months, finally setting out for Jerusalem again in December 1098. After six months of marching and capturing cities along the coast, they arrived at Jerusalem in June 1099.
Their forces were depleted. The city was well-defended. It looked like this whole journey would be for nothing. But then, outta nowhere, some Genoese ships arrived with materials to make a couple siege towers. It’s like the kegs were dry, but then that wacky delivery guy they met from earlier in the movie showed up to save the day.
Godfrey didn’t waste any time, getting out in front, scaling the walls, and leading his troops inside on July 15, 1099. The scene that followed should have been cut from the movie: the mass slaughter of the city’s Muslim and Jewish inhabitants. An Egyptian army approached a few weeks later, but they were defeated. Jerusalem belonged to the crusaders.
In the last minutes of the movie, just before the credits roll, you learn where the main characters end up after the crusade:
Godfrey of Bouillon, the hero of the siege, became the ruler of Jerusalem.
Bohemond was imprisoned by the Turks and eventually Alexios got him.
Raymond IV established the County of Tripoli and became its first ruler.
Baldwin of Boulogne became the king of Jerusalem after his brother Godfrey died.
Robert II returned to Flanders to fight against the kings of France, Germany, and England.
Robert Curthose later spent 20+ years imprisoned for various screwball antics.
Stephen retreated during the Siege of Antioch, so lived in shame and ignominy.
Hugh began as the younger brother of the king of France and kept it up for the rest of his life.
Roll credits. What an epic adventure.
The movie was a success. Maybe they got lucky. Well, they definitely got lucky.
The combination of religious fervor within Christendom, political divisions in the Islamic world, and well-led Christian armies created a victory that nobody expected. It happens sometimes with movies too.
Everything clicks. The cast has chemistry. A great script, great acting, and great directing create an excellent end product. Combine that with a receptive audience and just the right time, and you’ve got a hit. Hits mean money, lots of money, which usually means a sequel.
Teen comedies usually don’t have many sequels because the kids all grow up. Animal House, Dazed and Confused, Old School, EuroTrip, Superbad - they might be analogs for the First Crusade Movie above, but they don’t spawn franchises.
Movie franchises with many sequels usually are about superheroes, comic book characters, British super-spies, child wizards, or dinosaurs run amok in the modern world. In the worst case, they’re about street racing. In the best case, you’ll get a multi-generational space opera / western / samurai / hero’s journey epic.
So switch over in your head to your favorite many-movie franchise genre and settle in for the first sequel: The Second Crusade.
