Attila the Hun Picnics with the Pope
Attila the Hun was Europe’s most fearsome enemy in 452. He was known as Flagellum Dei, meaning “Scourge of God” in Latin, which gives you an idea of his reputation.
Attila seemed undefeatable. That’s why it is so odd that he was persuaded to turn away from Rome not by an army, but by the pope, wielding not a sword, but a picnic basket. History is weird sometimes.
When Attila took charge of the Huns, the first thing he did was march down to Constantinople to extort Emperor Theodosius II for cash. The eastern emperor agreed to pay 700 pounds of gold annually to ensure peace between the Huns and Romans. In the 440s, Atilla showed his skills as a master negotiator and tripled the amount to 2,100 pounds of gold per year. The terrified Eastern Roman Empire agreed.
Now looking to get some more cash, Atilla marched the Huns west to Rome in 452, pillaging and looting and burning cities along the way. Valentinian III, emperor of the Western Roman Empire, employed the negotiating strategy of hiding under his desk and crying. If you haven’t tried that yet, give it a go sometime. It doesn’t help, but it might pass the buck to someone else.
In this case, the buck passed to Pope Leo I, later known as Leo the Great, who marched out to meet Attila on a hill outside of Rome. There they had a picnic lunch. After the meal, Atilla marched the Huns back home. No one knows what was said between the two men, and of course there are multiple versions of events:
1) Pope Leo I commanded Atilla to depart. Suddenly, the apostles Peter and Paul appeared in the sky, wielding swords and threatening consequences if he did not leave. Attila was impressed.
2) Pope Leo I begged for mercy, saying “The senate and people of Rome, once conquerors of the world, now kneel conquered. We come to thee as supplicants.” Attila showed leniency.
3) Attila considered the defenses of the city and the spoils that might be gained against the losses he might incur with his exhausted army, then decided there was better booty to be had in the east. Leo got lucky.
You can decide for yourself what most likely happened, but only the first option has a fresco painting at the Vatican created by the artist Raphael during the Renaissance and its own Wikipedia page, which ain’t too shabby. (That’s the image above here.)
How often have you had an argument or disagreement with a colleague in the office in the morning, then gone back to your desk, alone, for a sad desk lunch? Or even worse, an angry desk lunch? Look, you don’t have to like ‘em, but you do gotta work with ‘em. So maybe go to lunch with your foe.
It is much harder to hate someone once you’ve broken bread together. It can be the tiniest thing (What? They mix mayo and ketchup to dip their fries?) and now that you know that fact, they start to be a person, not just a troll that won’t complete their tiny part of the process and is holding up the whole show.
If you’re going to the trouble to put on real shoes and trudge into the office in the morning, take advantage of that time to actually interact in person with another real-live person. Lunch is the best way, but an in-office coffee date wherever there’s a quiet spot with a bunch of potted plants is a reasonable alternative. Just get together and share some nibbles. It’ll change the way you see that troll.
(Side note: This doesn’t work in a virtual environment. Nobody wants to see you eat on a videoconference. Plus, if you get spinach stuck in your teeth, someone might do a screen grab, and that picture will last forever. If it’s a really good one where you’re laughing with a huge green blob in your smile, there’s a solid chance it will end up in a company slideshow. Don’t be that guy.)
